Text Dump

That last entry was a draft from ten years ago that was probably more pithy in the era of "don't ask, don't tell" but I'm aiming to reboot my daily writing routine.  Eventually, I'll improve if not my skills at least my inertia for writing. While teaching math in Abu Dhabi, I had a lot of spare time to write. I co-led a writing group where we shared short pieces mostly for motivation to write. When I switched to teaching computer science (multimedia / HCI) my spare time and creative energy got diverted into the bottomless pit of changing tech.  Perhaps now, I'll be better able to balance my tech pursuits with writing (and perhaps a designing a new balloon from time to time).

This blog was one of my first foray into the then new world of Web 2.0.  Later, I came up with my youtube account theAmatour which was also a symbolic way to remind myself to aim for less than perfection and keep things amateurish so as not to get inhibited from hitting the submit button.  The channel had a few popular videos but me most of my videos served as a way for me to remember and reproduce my more sophisticated 3D balloon constructions patterns. I did create some videos with a classroom audience in mind. These videos are still kicking around whereas many of my other digital artefacts are lost since I ended up switching platforms many times and losing servers and web services over time. In keeping with my goal of hitting submit with partially completed works, I spent a lot of times working with wikis. I made a number of wiki's first with wikimedia, then with Tiddlywiki, and then with Wikispaces. Being a pro-tech guy, I can overcome any interface or representation.  But I ended up with Wikispaces because I was using it for my classes, which were populated with less tech savvy individuals (also getting control of a server can be tricky depending on the organisation you work with).  Unfortunately for me, Wikispaces died.  Right now I am on the hunt for a suitable to replacement.  But it's possible I may have to make some transition away from a keyboard-centric medium (I loved the formatting aspects of wikitext mostly because I like the option of generating content algorithmically).  I'll let you know what I end up with.

Currently, I have devolved to an old intel core i3 Acer laptop running Ubunto. I going to try to curate a few of my resources on it before I put them to my extremely limiting freehostia site jimmorey.com. I love my chromebook but I have had issues with permanence using it (actually my previous chromebook in a developer mode) as well as the constant pull of casual Android games.  My current set up is a big screen with a Roccat Suora FX --a serious led-bedazzled update from my VolkerCraig VC4404 terminal keyboard which has trained me to type like an angry atonal Xylophonist, a habit worse than my nail biting. RSI here I come.

I'm toying with the idea of creating a section in jimmorey.com called something like pithycode where I will highlight tight code examples that will demonstrate small piece that I developed out of need or ran across while looking for something I wanted.  The goal is to excise only the required code for a simple task rather than seeing within the a mess of code. That way it can easily be repurposed...in theory anyway.

Don't fart. Don't smell.

I was in the army for a number of years--that's why I hadn't blogged in a while. Everything was going well then they put in a new rule: "Don't fart. Don't smell." That was the end of me. I tried to hide my farts for a while but there comes a time when you can't explain away the explosiveness on gunfire, wild pigs, computer viruses, squeaky grenade launchers, defective iPods playing African throat music, spontaneous rodent combustion, march gas, ball lightning, or the Doppler effect. It really got to the point where my comrades in arms would preventatively wear smelling salts creams under their noses or hazmat suits under the pretense that there was a rumour of a possible chemical attack.

Probably every thing would be still be fine had it not be for the repopularised fondu craze that swept the base. With hindsight, I probably should not have suggested the brown bean-cabbage-cheese fondue. To make a long story short, I think I'll stick with chocolate fondues.

The inquest concluded that the fire took the lives of 24 soldiers was caused by gastrointestinal event of unprecedented magnitude. As the sole survivor present at ground zero, I was intensely questioned and examined. Unfortunate rigour coupled with a breakfast burrito and a Bunsen burner, resulted in the consequent deaths of two non-military lab techs. Officially, all the deaths were written up as friendly fire. Unofficially, I was given a choice of either working in dietary weapons development or take a quiet retirement from the army and take up residence in the well ventilated sparsely populated north.

Currently, I'll looking into electric fondue sets and doing some self medicating--mega-doses of Rogaine on my backside...it's cold up north.

under attack

I've been away from home for a bit. I figured that my place was going to be fine because I ended up shelling out some crazy amount of cash for an ultra new "home defense" system. I didn't go for the cheaper "home protection" or the mildly deterring "home security" no I went for "defense". I set up a multiple engaging anti-intruder anti-social pro-privacy anti-fungal system with the most highly rated pro-actively lethal components known only by the paranoid fringe of society that truly understands the world "keep off my property or else".

Unfortunately, the "they", who know who they are but remain silent, came up with an insidious militarized antigenic herbo-toxin counter measure for my state-of-the-art system. I'll be hitting the web to show this "they" who means business. I'll be sifting through all the best sites for important messages hidden in ascii art. We'll see who comes out on top.

Salmonella Diet

Well my new diet is working out well. I'm down 5 pounds. I'm going to try to market this idea on EBay. My problem is--how do I sell the idea without saying what I'm selling thereby giving away the idea so that people don't have to buy it? Perhaps, I should call it the "Dodgy Chinese Food Diet" or maybe if I were to call it the "Citronella Diet" and only tell the secret to those with cash? It think my idea's going to take off. There'll be Salmonella parties that will be bigger than Botox parties and no problems with dirty needles. After I make it big, I'll want to diversify with tapeworm feasts, and ptomaine salad buffets.

It's all about good marketing and synergies of products. Maybe I can create some good combos: Salmonella toothpaste with tossed ptomaine salad with chicken lightly seasoned with tapeworms. It'll covers all your bases. I'm going to set sail for EBay.

Back to the "new" normal

A dogless existence has taught me to stop playing fetch. After the first hour, I started to realize that the stick just wasn't coming back. I no longer have the luxury of sitting back and watching my dog eat the pests that intrude on my garden: squirrels, rabbits, possum, neighbors,... I had to buy a product that came to me lauded with praises like, "it's better than electrified barbed-wire", or "damn, it's so good it's better than having a slaughter house web cam." I've heard praises like this before but when I heard the brand name I knew it had to be worth the money. The company simply calls it "off". It's kind of ominous. What does it mean? Is it "fork off", "shove off", "piss off", "stay off", "get off", "push off", "off off", "toss off", "on/off", "lay off", "sort off", "stain off", ... It seems like there are endless possibilities. Maybe that's how it works. While you're trying to figure what the name means it creeps up on you and...WHAMO. I haven't been able to take my eyes off my garden since the purchase.

Whoa there...

I've been meaing to blog but things got a little out of control with the lax oil so I decided to up the ante and go whole hog into crystal meth...or perhaps I should say crystal myth. As it turns out, I tried the cough syrup + battery acid + draino + iodine etc concoction. Perhaps I didn't read the instructions carefully enough but I'll tell you, not only did the mess not look like the pretty crystals (as I expected) but more like a black mass. I'm currently trying to sell my batch on EBay and I'm calling it "crystal death" because of the recent unfortunate circumstances with our late dog. I believe Sheba had a great time before she did 29 back flips and then jumped off the balcony. Instead of landing on her feet, she landed on an elderly couple. She will be missed. The police are still looking for the owners of the dog but from my point of view it was an act of god. Those old folks didn't have long to live anyway. I'm glad I never got around to buying one of those nice tags with our address. I should have listened to my friend Brad B. Quaker when he told me that I should stick to natural things. But then again poor Brad has recently been kicked out of his commune because of his repeated offences with cattle. Brad doesn't know everything. I tried to find Brad in his backyard to get some help with the natural approach but the place was completely overgrown.

time to relax

After the my little stint in the hospital and then prison (apparently the plant I put on the bar-B wasn't entirely legal in the state of Georgia even for someone with glaucoma), I ran into my good friend Ubunto. He's a really good guy but a little wooden at parties. He told me that I needed to chill out and relax and that he had just the thing for me. It's called lax oil. He said that once Arnold Schwatz-a-something filled a ping pong ball with the oil and shoved it up his left nostril. It was reported that he never felt as relaxed in his life. Afterward though, he had a relapse of lax and went into a coma for 4 days but when he came out of it, he didn't need to go to his chiropractor for 2 weeks. Now my friend said that I should probably stick to using a half a dozen q-tips simultaneously instead of a ping pong ball and that after getting used to the soggy-nose thing that I would never go back to trepanning to relax. My friend is still wooden at parties but I think that he is more accepting of the fact when he's using lax oil.