time to relax

After the my little stint in the hospital and then prison (apparently the plant I put on the bar-B wasn't entirely legal in the state of Georgia even for someone with glaucoma), I ran into my good friend Ubunto. He's a really good guy but a little wooden at parties. He told me that I needed to chill out and relax and that he had just the thing for me. It's called lax oil. He said that once Arnold Schwatz-a-something filled a ping pong ball with the oil and shoved it up his left nostril. It was reported that he never felt as relaxed in his life. Afterward though, he had a relapse of lax and went into a coma for 4 days but when he came out of it, he didn't need to go to his chiropractor for 2 weeks. Now my friend said that I should probably stick to using a half a dozen q-tips simultaneously instead of a ping pong ball and that after getting used to the soggy-nose thing that I would never go back to trepanning to relax. My friend is still wooden at parties but I think that he is more accepting of the fact when he's using lax oil.