Whoa there...

I've been meaing to blog but things got a little out of control with the lax oil so I decided to up the ante and go whole hog into crystal meth...or perhaps I should say crystal myth. As it turns out, I tried the cough syrup + battery acid + draino + iodine etc concoction. Perhaps I didn't read the instructions carefully enough but I'll tell you, not only did the mess not look like the pretty crystals (as I expected) but more like a black mass. I'm currently trying to sell my batch on EBay and I'm calling it "crystal death" because of the recent unfortunate circumstances with our late dog. I believe Sheba had a great time before she did 29 back flips and then jumped off the balcony. Instead of landing on her feet, she landed on an elderly couple. She will be missed. The police are still looking for the owners of the dog but from my point of view it was an act of god. Those old folks didn't have long to live anyway. I'm glad I never got around to buying one of those nice tags with our address. I should have listened to my friend Brad B. Quaker when he told me that I should stick to natural things. But then again poor Brad has recently been kicked out of his commune because of his repeated offences with cattle. Brad doesn't know everything. I tried to find Brad in his backyard to get some help with the natural approach but the place was completely overgrown.